Well, it looks as if these blog posts are going to challenge me to be vulnerable. I can’t say that I haven’t had my my share of experience in that department but still…do you know of anyone who likes to be vulnerable? I don’t. I’m suddenly having flashbacks of Brené Brown’s Ted Talks. Brené Brown is a research professor, social worker, and an expert on shame and vulnerability. She became famous for her Ted talk in 2010. The jest of what she had to say was that our culture needs to be more vulnerable. The popularity of her orientation says a lot about our need to be more real. It’s currently up to 17 million views! Could it be that we are running around for most of our lives being fake and living around fake people? Probably. The prophet Isaiah felt this way. His stern words to the people of Israel, exclaiming, “Woe to you!” turned into “Woe to me! I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the Lord Almighty.” (Isaiah 6:5) Isaiah realized how hypocritical he had been.

Lots of people are afraid right now. Afraid that our lives, the ones we have tried to sculpt to look Pintrest perfect aren’t perfect after all.

After 2020 and beyond we are searching like never before. Since childhood we have been told that the more hats we wear or the more plates we spin the better we will look!! I believe Jesus had something to say about this deception…umm what was it? Let me see, oh yeah-“HYPOCRITES! A little harsh but you get the picture.

“The word hypocrite is rooted in the Greek word hypokrites, which means “stage actor, pretender, dissembler.” So think of a hypocriteas a person who pretends to be a certain way, but really acts and believes the total opposite. Hypocrites usually talk a big talk but fail to follow their own rules.”(Vocabulary.com, Inc.)

Jesus called the Pharisees and Jewish teachers out on this more than one occasion. There are many scriptures that warn not to judge others harshly because we think ourselves to be better or wiser than others. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be discerning but we should never come across as self-righteous. Remember to check for specks before removing planks.

Sometime ago I was in prayer to God about why I always seem to come up short in any goal or plan that He reveals and He spoke into my spirit that I was “in the way.” Ouch! I’m serious! Clear as a bell! I had been having the wrong mindset. I thought yet again, that He was the one keeping me from finishing, that He was frustrating all my attempts and plans. I don’t know why I often default to this kind of deception about our kind, loving, Heavenly Father by thinking that He is this big bully out there somewhere that delights in making me miserable. I know that some have this kind of view of God because their own earthly fathers got a lot wrong but mine- well, mine was wonderful. So, what’s the deal? I wish I knew.

I stopped going in my prayer room and started throwing a temper tantrum!

It was then that I heard, “You’re in the way!” After the initial shock of hearing that I was in the way, I was a little relieved. It was like finally finding out what has been causing the symptoms you have been having for months or years. Ever been there?

The diagnosis: I was playing the hypocrite. I was in the way because I was afraid to relinquish control. I wasn’t all in. I was sitting on the sidelines. I was still trying, striving and doing it my way and wanting God to put His stamp of approval on it. Not gonna happen. I didn’t want vulnerability. I was caught up in a cycle of pretending something that I wasn’t.

I think of all the countless hours I spent doing just enough or doing just those things that are comfortable and routine because let’s face it, life is exhausting enough without looking for ways to do things differently. Then God shows up and reminds you that your life…well, it’s His now remember? We have to remember Who’s we are. We have to learn to be obedient no matter the cost. Funny thing is the very first word I ever heard God say to me during prayer was: Apply. I wrote it down in my journal. Truthfully, I have a gift for attaining knowledge but not so much in applying that knowledge!

I don’t want to be like a Hebrew slave never making it into the promised land. The Hebrew people didn’t need more laws and hoops they needed a vulnerable Savior to show them a lot of grace. Most of us are wandering around longer than what is needed. Do you remember from scripture who is best at wandering around? Satan and his demons!! Harsh again, I know!

I’m forty-six and honestly, I’ve wasted enough time worrying about how “It’s” looking to other people. It’s sort of like a paradigm shift that occurs when you try to hard to make people like you. The harder you try the more you’ll find them turned off by it. When you “do everything as unto the Lord” however, it might rub some the wrong way but you will be authentic and in the end your integrity will shine through. And, what’s better than Godly character? In other words you will no longer be a hypocrite.

So, I’m still learning to step out of the way…and it’s not for whimps! It takes more maturity to be vulnerable. Everyone wants self-control and rest for their spirits. This won’t be obtained by rushing around trying to get things accomplished and please everyone, even if it’s noble things like volunteer work or church activities. A strong prayer life trumps all of those things we think are earning us points.

“Stop striving and know that I am God..’ (Psalm 46:10)

If all of this doesn’t persuade us to be more vulnerable than maybe Jesus can. Remember what he did in his last moments before he was arrested? He took with him Peter, James and John and went a little farther to pray and while he was praying he sweat drops of blood, right in front of them! The world says, “never let them see you sweat,” but Jesus cared enough to let us see him that way. He wasn’t afraid to be like us. Vulnerability isn’t wimpy. Vulnerability takes courage.

News flash: We were never in control.

Step aside.

Be vulnerable and let Him lead.

He’s got this and you.

-Carole Ann Landon

Small Beginnings Blog post #2

Pictures of Smith Island scenery also by Carole Ann Landon

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